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Post by The Joker on Aug 14, 2010 16:55:15 GMT
Joker saw red. He lunged forward, grabbed Two-Face by the collar and tumbled off of the bed, dragging the other man with him. He scrambled to get on top of Two-Face, a knife produced seemingly out of nowhere.
He pressed the blade under Two-Face's chin. "I'm not crazy."
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 14, 2010 17:01:24 GMT
Two-Face was shocked into immobility as Joker dragged him to the floor.
"What the...Joker, what are you..." He tried to lengthen the muscles of his neck, tilting his head up as he felt the point of the knife dig into the skin under his jawline. He slowly held up his hands.
"OK. Just... cool it. Calm down."
He breathed in sharply as he felt the point of the blade break the skin.
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Post by The Joker on Aug 14, 2010 17:03:55 GMT
Breathing heavily, Joker stared down at Two-Face for a few moments. Then he slipped the blade back into his shirt and hopped up.
"Well, now that we've got that sorted, wanna get a pizza? I'm starving." He grabbed the bottle that Two-Face had been drinking out of and downed the rest of it. Sighing contentedly, he flopped back down on the bed.
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 14, 2010 17:11:58 GMT
Two-Face sat up slowly. He touched his jaw and wasn't surprised to find a bead of blood on his fingers.
Cautiously, he got to his feet. He eyed Joker warily.
"Sure. But it's got to have jalapenos. Lots of them."
Still not taking his eyes from Joker, he picked up the TV remote at the side of the bed and flicked on the television. "I was looking at the in-room movie menu earlier. Anything you want to see?"
Wondering exactly what he had gotten himself into this time, Two-Face resumed his place on the bed and began flicking through the menu of channels.
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Post by The Joker on Aug 14, 2010 17:25:29 GMT
Joker watched the movie names as Two-Face flipped through. "I'm easy, Dent. You pick the movie and I'll order us a pie." He crawled over Two-Face to get to the phone, laying across the other man's stomach.
After finding a number for Pizza Hut in the directory by the phone, he called them. "Mmm hiiii, I'd like to order a large pizza. What toppings? Weeeeeell, I'd like extra jalepeños, some pepperonis, and extra anchovies. I gotta have my fishies. Drinks? Naw, we're good. Thanks lovey." He rattled off the address and hung up, staying on top of Two-Face
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 14, 2010 17:43:34 GMT
"Nothing with gangsters in it. They always get it wrong and they piss me off..." He flipped down the menu for a while before settling on Kill Bill vol 2.
"I asked Harvey this the other day, and he was so, so wrong. Who's hotter - O-Ren Ishii or Elle Driver? Maybe you can settle it for us."
Two-Face had been in many hotel rooms with many strange people lying on top of him (well, not as many as he would like, actually. Damn Harvey and his serial monogamy) but he thought this might be the strangest of all.
"Joker, I have to ask - if you're planning on going straight back to Arkham, why did you leave in the first place?"
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Post by The Joker on Aug 14, 2010 17:48:41 GMT
"O-Ren. Asian chicks are hot." Joker moved off of Harvey, 'accidentally' putting all of his weight on the man's stomach for a moment.
He looked at the TV. "I never liked that she killed Bill in the end, but what can ya do."
He glanced down at Two-Face. "I don't have a particularly good reason. I needed to check up on some of my things and I wanted to fuck around at the fundraiser a bit. You just happened to beat me to the punch. Ah well." He fell back against the pillows, scooting as close as possible to Two-Face.
"It's always so nice to meet another proper villain. Most punks wouldn't know showmanship if it bit 'em in the ass."
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 14, 2010 18:54:18 GMT
Two-Face rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you two. Elle is clearly sexier."
He made an "oof" sound as Joker's weight pressed full on his abomen and his breath was driven out of him.
Two-Face considered. "Yeah... but I love a good revenge drama. And it wouldn't be proper revenge without him getting killed."
Two-Face mused on this for a while, his arm slipping around the Joker's shoulders, fingertips absently tangling in his hair.
"I've been thinking... The Falcone family is in pieces. Sal Maroni's dead. Two bullets to the head, and as Harvey says, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. The Chechen was never as powerful as the Italians, and Jim Gambol's nothing but a second-rate money launderer."
He turned his head to look at Joker. "In this city, I think you and me - people like you and me - are the future."
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Post by The Joker on Aug 15, 2010 10:10:33 GMT
"Gambol's a pussy." Joker muttered, rolling his eyes. "Absolutely useless. He, and all the others like him, thinks that you can run a town with just brute force. What a novice."
His eyes flickered over Two-Face's face. "I do believe you're right, Dent. Gotham deserves a better class of criminals, and we're gonna give it to 'em. It will be so fun to show all the meatheads who's boss around here."
At a knock on the door, Joker sprung out of bed. He dug through Harvey's pockets for money. Finding a clip, he pulled out a $10 and opened the door. The pizzaman glanced curiously between the two men. Joker grabbed the pizza, shoved the bill in the boy's hands and slammed the door in his face.
Humming, he sat back on the bed and opened the box, sighing in contentment as he saw it. "Aw, just look at all the fishies. My day is made."
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 15, 2010 10:35:59 GMT
Two-Face nodded. "Exactly. Now, I know Harvey's meant to be the smart one, but even I can see that you need more than bullets to really get things done in this town."
A calculating gleam came into his eyes. "Next time there's a council, you should go. Ask Harvey where it's being held. I'd love to see their faces when you came in..."
Two-Face laughed as Joker dug through his pockets looking for money. "You could have just asked, you know. Not that I mind you groping me."
He sat up and leaned over to help himself to a slice of pizza. "True, the day is certainly looking better than it did this morning."
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Post by The Joker on Aug 15, 2010 10:43:49 GMT
Joker didn't respond for several minutes, seeing as he was inhaling pizza. Once he'd destroyed a few slices, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned back to Harvey.
"I uh...think that's a good idea. I'll just have to time my entrance right." He drummed his fingers on the bed, tracing the inside of his scars with his tongue absently.
Deciding he was in a rather tactless mood, he grinned at Two-Face. It wasn't a particularly pleasant one, either. "Soooo, Dent. Talk to me about this little Tart that Harv is so enamored with."
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 15, 2010 10:51:41 GMT
Two-Face picked off the slices of anchovy from his own pizza slice and deposited them on Joker's half of the pizza.
"Olivia? I know, he's completely beyond logic. I've tried to tell him, but you try talking to Harvey about his lovelife. It's like he's deaf or something."
He licked a spot of tomato sauce off his finger. "I'm not exactly into monogamy, you might have guessed."
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Post by The Joker on Aug 15, 2010 11:08:24 GMT
"Monogamy, shmanogamy. Who cares about shit like that? Relationships in general are so overrated." He grabbed a few anchovies and popped them in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.
"I'm curious, do you two not date the same people? Like...say Harvey and Olivia patched things up and got married, what would you do?"
He pulled a face, looking somewhat disturbed. "Could you imagine having to deal with kids? I don't get what women see in them."
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Post by Harvey Dent/Two-Face on Aug 15, 2010 11:21:00 GMT
Two-Face nodded excitedly. "Now that's what I'm talking about. Relationships are messy. And not in the good way. I mean, I don't love you. I don't even think I like you very much - no offence. But last night... wow. Harvey NEVER lets me have fun like that."
He considered Joker's next question. "No, we have very different tastes. He's strictly ladies only... apart from me. And he likes a girl that can take charge; that's not my thing. And he always has to fall in love with them. I don't know why... I think he's lonely. But he's got no reason for that - he's got me. How many other people have somebody that's going to be there in their head every morning, noon and night of their lives?"
Two-Face's jaw tightened. "If they got married, I'd have to wait until the divorce came through, and wait for him to realise who he really belongs to."
He groaned. "I know, right? Harvey loves kids. Him and Gilda were all set on the idea, but he was working every hour of the day, didn't want to be one of those fathers who only sees the kids when they're asleep, so it never happened. Thank fuck."
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Post by The Joker on Aug 15, 2010 15:36:05 GMT
Joker pouted. "You don't like me very much? That's a shame, Dent-o. I like you."
He lay back on the bed, left arm under his head. "I don't get how he could be lonely with you jabbering at him all the time. Sometimes I wish I was a whack job so I could have someone to talk to, but solitude is generally the best thing."
He was silent for a long time, staring broodingly at the ceiling. After a few moments he turned to look at Harvey, eyes searching the other man's face. "Why are you so protective of him? Not to be the devil's advocate, but wouldn't it be good for the two of you to settle down? I know I just said relationships are overrated buuuuut, if they're done right they can be quite rewarding. For example, Harvey let you loose a few times a month as long as you didn't stab his little girlfriend in the throat. Wouldn't that be better than having him try to cage you in?"
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